Isn’t it ironic that department store fitting rooms have the same design features as an interrogation facility?
It was the perfect atmosphere for a cellulite crisis. I was attending graduate school in Scotland where the climate was so cold I hadn’t seen my thighs in months, or my boyfriend who would soon be making the trip across the Atlantic for a much-anticipated visit. I was standing in the aforementioned dressing room because I wanted to buy something pretty for the occasion.
Plus I was about to turn thirty.
The reality of my upcoming thirtieth birthday forced me to admit the one little truth that changed everything: if I was not successful at shedding my cellulite by now, chances are it would be with me for the rest of my life.
Following previous cellulite crises of this nature, my normal reaction was to exercise more, eat less, and invest in the latest anti-cellulite product that guarantees results in X number of weeks or your money back. Eventually I would become busy with other distractions and never even use the product long enough to know if it really works or not. Does this sound familiar?
But perhaps because I had just started graduate school, I responded to this fitting room incident with a more studious approach, albeit one I found just as instinctual. Instead of jumping into another round of the same unsuccessful treatment options, what if I put my analytic training to work and opened an investigation on cellulite?
Just like a criminal investigation, we use a variety of techniques to gather evidence for the case. We monitor global chatter for the latest cellulite news. We interview and analyze written accounts from doctors, fitness experts, people in the beauty business, and others we suspect might have information that could help with the case.
Some of the most valuable intel we’ve uncovered has come from CI readers like you. For example, the responses to this RFI about cellulite being physically painful indicate cellulite is more than just a cosmetic concern. Our public tip line has been another source of helpful information on the dreaded blight. Some women suspect a certain food or event that caused their cellulite. Others know a change in diet or an exercise program that remedied it.
The intent of The Cellulite Investigation is gather the relevant information on cellulite and synthesize it into a comprehensive theory that will be much greater than the sum of its parts.
We can’t rely on the medical community for genuine answers about cellulite. Most doctors ignore the issue, largely because it is seen as cosmetic and superficial. The few who do address cellulite are still bias towards solutions that can be applied, prescribed, or administered.
We can’t rely on the anti-cellulite industry, either. Although they have billions of dollars per year at their disposal, the real cure for cellulite can’t be bottled and sold so the industry will never find it.
Even the media is biased towards featuring cellulite products that are either common or bizarre. They do pieces for women who pass by the Nivea cellulite cream at Wal-Mart and wonder if it works. Or they try to get your attention by writing about cellulite-busting marshmallows or magical anti-cellulite panties. (Who would stoop so low?) Most of the so-called experts they interview never had cellulite and never successfully helped someone get rid of it, a practice that perpetuates the many myths and misinformation surrounding the condition.
No one else is going to figure out the real causes and cures for cellulite. It’s up to us. I hope you will join me.