Easy Recipe for Lamb Oysters (i.e. Testicles)

25 May

One of the items in my recent order from U.S. Wellness meats was lamb oysters.  As we learned from past cellulite-investigating efforts, testicles are the richest food source of hyaluronidase, a possible key element in the elusive anti-cellulite diet.

Why Testicles Are Good For Cellulite

Hyaluronidase is a family of enzymes known to dissolve certain complex carbohydrates, such as glycosaminoglycans (GAGs). GAGs are the building blocks of connective tissue.  As we learned previously in the investigation, cellulite is a result of damaged connective tissue.  Dr. Howard Murad, author of The Cellulite Solution, prescribes glucosamine supplements as a potential remedy for cellulite.  Hyaluronidase could be even more effective because it helps dissolve glucosaminoglycans trapped in connective tissue.

Hyaluronidase also dissolves hyaluronic acid.1 In another book about the blight, The Cellulite Cure, Dr. Lionel Bissoon recommends mesotherapy treatments for cellulite.  In this treatment, small doses of hyaluronic acid and other ingredients are injected directly into the fat cells.   Hyaluronidase (the substance found in testicles) lowers the viscosity of hyaluronic acid, thereby increasing tissue permeability.2 It is not difficult to see why increased tissue permeability could help reduce cellulite.

My First Attempt Cooking Lamb Testicles

I recently enjoyed beef testicles in an excellent bowl of pho, but I never tried preparing them myself.  So when I saw lamb oysters for sale at U.S. Wellness Meats, I could not resist.

The website said they are tasty when fried in beef tallow.  I had fresh tallow on hand from my most recent batch of beef stock, so I threw some in my cast iron skillet and opened my package of lamb balls.  Uh-oh. Now what?

I assumed cooking testicles would be like sauteeing any other piece of meat.  But did you know you have to peel them?

The ones I bought were mostly peeled, but they were still tricky to slice.  I was finally able to use a serrated knife to slice them into strips.   I dipped them in a beaten egg and then flour before pan-frying in the beef tallow.

I sprinkled the “oysters” with sea salt as they were cooking and then ate them with a pile of oven fries.   They came out light, not chewy at all.  They weren’t as meaty as I was expecting so that was difficult to get used to.  But I can’t say I didn’t like them.  It’s a good thing, because I have ball #2 to fry up tomorrow.

How do/would you prepare oysters (of the land variety)?

Creative Commons License photo credit

 

A Cellulite Investigator Update

Thanks for stopping by The Cellulite Investigation.  Things are a little quite around here at the moment.  I’m taking an extended break as I get married and settle into married life and a new home.  Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon!

Comments

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Barbara Grant says:
5/25/2011

Growing up in a small community in Ky., lamb “fries” were available in restaurants. I like them. I have also eaten rooster, calf, bull, duck, and goat “fries.” Sometimes I omit the flour breading and just slice and saute in butter or oil.

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That’s awesome, Barbara!

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Soli @ I Believe in Butter says:
5/25/2011

One of these years I want to try eating land oyster. I give you a LOT of credit for cooking them, even though I am embracing the offal more, it’s not easy to get your mind away from the idea of just what that thing is.

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Liberty says:
5/25/2011

You’re braver than I am!!
BLessings!
LIB
http://bit.ly/jw5mPy

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herama says:
6/6/2011

oooh. Ugh. Oh my. Ok, there are some things I am just not willing to try to get rid of cellulite. Peeling balls is one of those things! Uuuuuugggghhh.

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For some reason, it doesn’t bother me at all. For me, it doesn’t seem any weirder than eating muscle meat. Okay, maybe it’s a little weirder… but that’s only because we don’t eat it much in our culture. It’s all relative.

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JH says:
6/17/2011

LOL, you certainly are adventurous.
Did you Google “testicle recipes”? There are thousands of them out there and for every type of animal you can think of.
Also known as land oysters, praire oysters, Rocky Mountain oysters. Now I like oysters but prefer mine from a shell.
Let us know if there are any side-effects.

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Ah yes. There is even an entire cook book devoted to testicles. The author hosts a testicle cook off each year, too. Or maybe it’s called a testicle festival??

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Marc says:
11/14/2011

I just got my first lamb fries from the local butcher, who rather childish about them. Not knowing what to do with the skin I sliced the first one into half just to find it to be like sweetbread in appearance. The skin went to the dogs which had it in one go. Since I am already a raw meat, egg, offal eater, my only choice was to do what I do, so I sliced it and eat it. It tastes like a watered down version of raw kidneys (very nice dried also). Nothing to it, not a bit disgusting and easy to eat. I am glad I tried it for I have now a new addition to my choice of meaty stuff. I am going to see how they fare after freezing and defrosting, also I shall try to dehydrate them to make them lasting without having to freeze them. One point about the author of the article above. She advertises sheep testicles as cellulite dissolvers, but then eats them with fries!!! Wow, that makes no sense at all, since it is the fries causing obesity and bad health/skin in the first place. Any comments?

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Hi, Marc. Wow, you ate them raw? That’s quite impressive! I eat raw egg yolks and raw liver on occasion, but never raw testicles. That’s really something.

The “fries” were actually potato slices baked in coconut oil. I disagree that saturated fat causes obesity and bad health/skin. I did have acne before, but it went away completely when I learned how to avoid fluoride in my diet (it’s a condition called fluoroderma). You can see the pictures here: Fluoroderma Success Stories. I don’t believe it contributes to obesity, either. We’ve got sugar to blame for that (see Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes for more info).

Also, cellulite is not a problem of being overweight, as many thin women like myself will attest. It is more likely caused by lymphatic congestion from exposure to toxic substance (such as fluoride) that are not properly eliminated from the body. There’s a lot more info I could add on that subject, but since you’re new to this cellulite investigating thing I’ll go easy on you. ;)

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Marc says:
11/14/2011

I forgot to check the e-mail follow up button :)

PS: Any one interested in how to enable the human (their own) immune system to detect and destroy cancerous cells?
Just look what “enzymes” do and how they are one of THE most important part of our diet. Unfortunately they are becoming increasingly inactive (kaputt) when heated to more than 40ºC so raw eating is absolutely essential for our health.. Comments and question are very welcome…

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Is there a book you recommend on enzymes? I just started adding crunchy sprouts to my lunch salad and they are delicious!!

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Marc says:
11/15/2011

Thank you for your swift replies Melissa.
May I quickly agree with you on the Carbohydrate=Sugar point, that’s what I meant actually to say. Potatoes = Starch = Complex Carbs = Sugar = Bloodsugarlevel-rise = Insuline secretion = illness and early departure from this place. Looking at how every human body reacts to the intake of ANY carbohydrate (no matter what the original form of the ingested carbs looks like) the conclusion that carbs should not be in our diet lies close. Let me just mention the ‘Inuit’, ‘Native NorthAmericans’ and ‘Pemmican’ for starters. So yes you are right, carbs are to blame, carbs feed obesity and carbs feed Candida Albicans, Depression (as all addictive substances do) etc etc etc. [More than one book should be written about all those facts] Anyhow, to answer your question about an Enzyme related book. Yes there will be a book that is being upfront about the subject, but no I have not found or even searched for one yet. I am solely using the means of the internet to find answers to my questions, which then are being led along, by the answers, to develop even more questions. I personally find that to rely on solely one opinion (of an author who might have an agenda not visible at first) may lead to a ‘cul de sac’ and finally to a dead end. Therefore I may give you this website where many questions will arise when read. Please do not be put of by the bible reference in the title, this is solely about the content (I am not religious myself, although I like to discuss possible creation and the paradox of “how can something develop from nothing”, but let me not go astray from the original subject). Here the address http://www.biblelife.org/biblediet.htm (I suggest to skip the text and follow the Blue! links directly (just in case bible references put you off) and then a little appetiser about why enzymes are such important factor, to be found here http://www.enzymesinc.com/supplemental-information/history-of-enzyme-therapy.html I am sure you will ask the right questions from there on. (one question to “google” may be ‘How enzymes enable the human immune system to detect [always present] cancerous cells and dissolve/destroy them’). Well, then this is a lot on your plate, some of the stuff you will have already come across, some will be a real eye opener, but I am sure you will come to appreciate the new addition of knowledge for it will certainly enable you to see the big picture about how we are being forced by our fascist society (meaning a society that puts capitalism before the populous) to basically make ourselves and our children ill, addicted and lifelong sufferers of weakness, just by spreading lies and disinformation about what humans, can, should be eating. (Sorry if this almost ended up in being a book on it’s own, as you can see this subject is close to my heart and when you look around the next time you are in a supermarket, you will sure agree to the reasons why) All the best and I am looking forward to hearing from you again. Marc

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Thanks for the links, Marc. From what I’ve read, Dr. Edward Howell’s work is the leading authority on enzymes. He wrote a book called Enzyme Nutrition but I haven’t read it yet. Your comment has inspired me to add it to my reading list.

I don’t eat a lot of carbs, but I do like having potatoes every now and then. I’ve never had a problem with weight gain or candida issues, so I don’t worry too much about the occasion carbs. I always make sure to eat them with plenty of fat so they’re not digested too fast. On the other hand, I’m supportive of those who choose to give them up altogether. More power to you!

I tried pemmican for the first time a few months ago. Not bad! I ordered it from U.S. Wellness Meats. Where do you get yours from?

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Marc says:
11/15/2011

You are welcome Melissa,
I am not in any way, shape or form what I’d call a purist but I do question their motives of putting cherries and honey (one of the worst if not the worst offenders amongst refined sugars for it contains no less than Six different sugars) into what should be 50% Tallow and 50% lean muscle meat only. In that form it will (or at least is said to) last years if not decades, at room temperature, still ‘half’ raw (if dried at less than 40ºC) and therefore, in my eyes, the best way of storing ‘living/active’ meat. To answer your question, I am using a L’Equip 918 dehydrator (it is running at the moment with the lamb fries, pig’s kidney and ox’s kidney) but usually I use ox’s heart to make the pemmican for it is, nutritionally seen, superior to the other muscle meat and cheaper. I pay £1.95 a kilogram, can’t beat that. For making the tallow I use ox’s fat, which is I get minced from the butchers’ since it dissolves faster and is not making a mess in my kitchen. It is very simple really and there a few videos on youtube showing how it’s done.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywBwUiq5v4o&feature=related ..although I use a pot to render it, since I found it hard to keep the correct temperature (250ºFahrenheit-120ºC) but then again, I am not a purist.
: )
Well, I wanted to comment on your Fluoride remark, GOOD ON YOU! It is a nasty chemical and if people were aware of the possible dangers, well…I have banned it from my life as well as aspartame and alcohol and nicotine and caffeine and caso-morphines (yes eating cheese is actually addictive for it contains Morphine, interesting isn’t it?! And the FSA even tells about it on their website, just not very publicly) oh, I stopped some more things I don’t want to go into right now, but as I use to say, ‘I have stopped more addictions most people even know exist’ Now my vices are more moderate, the occasional meat loaf, scrambled eggs and chili/curry powders, to give a little bit of variety to my taste-buds. Fluid-wise I drink water only and plenty of it, I am not 100% sure, but I think it’s between 2.5 to 3.5 litres a day, I should take note of it really and I shall if I do remember tomorrow. You also mentioned having eaten raw liver, I do it daily as a snack, lamb, pig, ox whatever I fancy, but all of it is dried. It is easy to take outside and keeps in a jar for many months, so I prefer it that way instead of having to eat it quickly after buying it. Oh by the way, about this ‘slow digested carbs myth’ in my opinion it does not matter how long it takes the body to digest them for the outcome is always the same (see the insulin production) and as long as we eat carbs our body will not start the ‘Ketosis’ process either and that’s actually what I wanted my body to do, being, to run on animal fats rather than sugar coming from grasses and seeds etc. Well, I do enjoy writing about this but it is now 1am and I think I should go and get my beauty sleep, after all I have just passed the first third of my possible biological maximum age..as usual I am looking forward to your reply. All the best from the UK..Marc

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Thanks again for your comment, Marc. It sounds like you are exploring quite the adventurous diet! I imagine it makes for some interesting dinner conversation when you are with family/friends. I was laughing as I started reading your comment because it is clear that you don’t live in the United States. Many of those foods would be nearly impossible to find here! When I was in Scotland for graduate school, I loved going to the local butcher shop. I think I amused them because I would ask what everything was and I could tell half the time they were hesitant to give me a straight answer. We just don’t have butcher shops like that in the States! The farmer’s market was amazing, too. Even TESCO sold goose fat by the jar. It felt like such a luxury cooking with goose fat. Here it’s difficult enough just to find decent butter. I do miss the UK at times!

All the meat that you eat, is it pretty much in a jerky form after it’s dried? I would like to purchase a dehydrator some day but that will be a few years down the road.

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Marc says:
11/19/2011

Hello and good day Melissa,
the world is small isn’t it?! I am actually living in Alba (the Gaelic name for Scotland) myself. : )
I am ‘not’ surprised to hear that you do not have butchers’ shops over there, it makes me sad tough, for you guy seem to be short changed in a lot of areas concerning food and it’s availability. Yes you are right, almost all my organ meat I dry for preservation and storage, only when I go to the shop once a week I eat it ‘wet-raw’ on the day and maybe the next. The result of drying the testies was a pleasing one, the dried fast (within two days) and are now being kept in a jar next to the pig’s kidneys. I have already ordered another 4 pounds for Monday and they will see the same treatment. The other meat I eat, which is mostly heart from the ox and lamb is being minced, mixed with fat and then frozen into portions so I can defrost it daily and munch on that. One of my favourites is minced pork belly, which tastes really nice. It is actually a very common and ready available food stuff in Germany, where they call it ‘Mett’, you can get it in almost all bakers’ and butchers’ shops and people eat it at any time of day. (Just minced raw pork shoulder or belly on a roll/bun/bap/bread-roll or what ever you call it over there) I actually feel like I should be reading one of those books about enzymes and I think the ‘Original’ one that started it all (written by a Scotsman) shall be it..

http://www.newspringpress.com/beard.html

Well, have a good day and until soon..

Marc

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Yes, we are short-changed when it comes to food but it’s definitely getting better. It’s not uncommon now to be able to order directly from a local farm and have it delivered on a regular basis. You have to go out and look for it, but it’s definitely more accessible now than it was even a few years ago. Please let me know what you think of the enzyme book! If you read that one, perhaps I’ll read this one and we can compare notes. :)

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Marc says:
11/22/2011

A brilliant idea Melissa,
I have downloaded the book as a pdf file and shall go about reading it shortly.
Though my medical background is limited to a six months nurse’ training I hope I’ll be able to reflect the contents in a manner digestible (excuse the intended pun) to any layman. I shall be in touch as soon as..

Unto then all the best
Marc

PS: Seemingly Dr. Beard was actually English, but what the…
:)

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You are head of me already, Marc! I was about to order the book on Amazon when I saw that I only needed to spend a few more dollars to get free shipping. They always get me with that! But I’ll order it soon and hopefully we’ll have a nice little study group going. I’m looking forward to reading your account on the subject!

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Misty says:
1/10/2012

Great reference and yet another reason we need to begin eating snout to tail again!

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I never heard it put like that, Misty. I don’t know about the snout or the tail, but the oysters definitely get my vote!

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Of Goats and Greens says:
4/13/2012

I just got some, also from US Wellness, and have been looking around for recipes, preferably without batter. How long do you cook them in your skillet? PS, I appreciate the peeling update and video.

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Thanks for your comment! Glad you found the video helpful. I didn’t cook them long. As I recall, it was pretty much the same as cooking chicken.

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Chef dePaprika says:
5/17/2012

i love testicle recipes, your looks very tasty and savoury.
If you are interestend, check out my hungarian paprikash with veal testicles:

http://chefdepaprika.com/2012/05/hungarian-veal-testicles-stew-paprikas-recipe/?gid=blogs

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Wow, you cooked them whole, huh? Looks tasty!

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Chef dePaprika says:
5/21/2012

Yes, cooked them whole, but at the end they were indeed yummy! ;)

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