A Beginner’s Guide to CI Terminology

15 Jun

CI: The Cellulite Investigation.

Cellulite BOTM:  Our weekly Cellulite Book-of-the-Month research group. Each month we feature a book relevant to cellulite and discuss it in weekly posts.

TAD: The Typical Anti-Cellulite Diet, as recommended by self-professed cellulite experts. Usually consists of plenty of fruits, veggies, lean protein, fiber, water and whole grains with limited amounts of fat, sugar, red meat, caffeine, and alcohol.

EAD: The Elusive Anti-Cellulite Diet.  Some experts claim the EAD is a mythical creature, but the evidence increasingly indicates it does exist albeit on the brink of extinction.

Cellulite Season: The period from April through May (before swimsuit season) when the media regurgitates the same old articles and segments on cellulite.

SAS: Summer Anti-Cellulite Surge. The period from June through August when we tend to feel extra motivation in efforts to banish the blight.

The Blight: The modern cellulite epidemic.

GWOC:  Global War on Cellulite.

The Lymph Theory of Cellulite: The theory that cellulite is caused by a sluggish lymphatic system and not poor muscle tone, genetics, or weak connective tissue.

Krypotonite: The element you suspect is your personal lymph weakness (sugar, caffeine, smoking…).

Cellulite Suspects: The lineup of potential culprits responsible for the modern cellulite epidemic. So far, Cellulite Suspect Number One is trans fat.

The Most Wanted List: These are the good foods –the ones we want to eat the most of in an effort to heal cellulite.  So far, coconut oil and grass-fed butter top the list (another reason we call them “most wanted!”).

The Digestion Dossier: Our case file on all matters of digestive health.

The Fluoride File: Our case file on fluoride, my personal kryptonite.

SCP:  Silly Cellulite Pun; often used in the context of “that’s not an SCP, I promise!”

A Cellulite Investigator Update

Thanks for stopping by The Cellulite Investigation.  Things are a little quite around here at the moment.  I’m taking an extended break as I get married and settle into married life and a new home.  Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon!


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